GENEVIEVE CALVARY HILDEGARD





iamhawtieshawty




Friday, November 26, 2010

BOREDOM CAUSE ME START BLOGGING AGAIN

as u seen my title above.. ehh.. nak speaking indah.. tampa palak! ahahaha.. xhal ba... speaking ngn blog jak.. nak show off kit ngn tuan blog tk.. nak show i tk pande speaking sbenanya... HAHAHAHAHHA.. paloi... hahaha..

boring la bah...study week la tp i havent study yet..haiyo...
mcmmna itula...

Monday, August 30, 2010

MISSING u..

teringat sal dolok eh...
ndak guna ku dtai kl..
Totally im lost alu teringat aunty...

lemah mat kw bie...
nie smua kemancalan d??
haiya!!!
mcmmna ito...

apalah jd ngau d bie??
STRONG BAH!!!

RINDU ngau niece ku gk...
adeh!!!

I MISS U OLLLL..

the days HAs COME

TOTALY IM BORED BEING HERE...
i DONo WHAT IM DOin ACCtualy...

tired n CHEST PAIN...
PUNYALAH sakIT..

NASIB Bebeh Embk KU jln...
Hope KU xkantoi witH RELATIVES...

IM TOTALY Miss HER..
HOpe SHE was HERE..
CRY TOGETHER..
ol OF MY TEar...
HOPE AUnty HAPPY THERE...
MUAHKZZ...!!

Yet im HUNGRY!!!
adeh!!!
im so EXHAUSTED!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

day by days

........\m/

getting through everthing so faster...
become stronger than ever.....
i wish everthing new and i feeling so so so GOOd
hhhhhhhaaaarrrr!!!!

class start mula la ku stress mcm biasa..
NO JOHNNY
nang asa lain jak ari2 ku d kch....
Hope everthing lacar jak....

Patience

What if you had a chance to improve that one particular situation but it requires time and a whole load of hard work and patching up?

I used to believe that if a situation like that arises, move on and start on something new.

Horrible isn't it??
Well, things change and I've changed.So I'm sticking to something which I said I will since last year.Won't be long.Things will finally pay off

Sunday, July 18, 2010

being really confused

what iam doin rite now???

im friends with my wx GIRFIE!!!!

OHMYOHM
Y!!!!!!!

BIe what happen too
u???

GOSH!!!!!!!

bna nya mok kwn ngan ku??
or just bcause she friend with me sbb afraid clevel ar with me??
gosh
......
biggest problems!!!
GAL IS LESBO...


what happen n what wrong with dis family???

OHMY!!!!!

BAMF! whatever you like

Sunday, July 11, 2010

she go for FOREVER

she beatiful
she good
she such a prefect women i have seen bfor...

Aunty Josephine..
May your SOUL REST IN PEACE...

i promise i will be good as u wish aunty...

alot u noe bout me...
u help me alot
with my life

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

it HAPPen

TODAY was HARD FOR me...
i was blam by CLEVEL frinds about my ATTIDUDE
that i was to BAD???

FUCK OF LA...
WHY U MIND MY OWN BUSINESS
CHALIE...

WATCH OUT PEOPLE NOK SANGKUT PAUT NGAN CLEVEL..
EITHR
GF..POHLYN A.K.A PUKIMAK....
UR FRENZZZZ....
OK..
I WARN U!!!!!
MORON

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

GOSH

parai ku....
2nd last sem...
repeat gik haiyo....
xterkata2 me ody...
WLPN last nite was awsome....
thankx LUKE.....

Sunday, July 4, 2010

mata ngantok...

"Yeah. I KNOW. I SUCK. BUT SOMETIMES I SUCK, I MAKE MYSELF LAUGH. YEAH, STUPID JOKES. THAT WAS SHIT. HELL. THIS IS SHITT."

Shiiieet

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

time to live a little bit , you mother fuckers .
after you read this , i dare you .
AHAHHAHAHHA . no i command you to do somethingyou've always wanted to do .
want to hit that bitch whos backstabbing you ?
want to ask that fucken dickhead out ?
want to try something you would never tried cause your little stereotyped friends arentdoing ?want to eat something you've never tried ?
want to cut your hair in a different way ?

stop fucken waiting .
go ahead .
just do it .
i dare you .


apa d repek ku aWl pg....

@12.35 am

It hurts to love someone and be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

A sad thing is life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back. Don’t expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.

Never say goodbye if you still want to try. Never give up if you still feel that you can go on. Never say you don’t love a person any more if you can’t let go

It takes only a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a life time to forget someone.

Don’t go for looks, as they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, as it can fade away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes a smile to make a dark day bright.

Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things your heart desires.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you humane and enough hope to have faith in a dream.

A careless word may kindle strive, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just by themselves, and not twist them with your own image.
Otherwise we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes their way.

Happiness awaits those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear

The brightest future will always be based on the darkest past

When you were born crying, everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you will be the one smiling while everyone is crying.

To me life is just another reality show and the only person watching is god. sometimes he laughs, he cry's, gets angry or dissapointed . then again i feel his pain and sometimes i hate that pain and i just want to end this so called reality show of mine but CLEVEL make it feel like life is worth living no matter what drama comes my way .


@2.13am

i'd hate to say it but im happy the way i am.
No strings attached, wholeheartedly,
im coping fine with the daily struggles, without the therapy, and without the drugs.
im happy.

move on

i need a sign, i need something that will explain everything that is happening in my life, i need someone to tell me the truth, i need you to tell me

why can’t you just tell me >:( ?

ive moved on. so have you, then why do you still miss me, still focus on my life. focus on your own. why am i so important to you. you broke my heart and you still think about me? fuck you. fk you for all the times ive cried so much to the point where my eyes would get swollen the next day. my friends were right, your not worth it, all my time, all my love, i tried to make it work but you made it so complicated. now ive met someone new who does deserve everything from me. you lost me, its your fault not mine. stop blaming me for your stupid choices .

i hope you do find someone new, someone who loves you like i did. but i hope she just fucks you over in the end. i hope she ends it over msn and never calls you back, because you deserve to feel what ive felt .

The truth about girls:

We act like we’re cold so you’ll hold us.
Gossip isn’t a sin, it’s an art.
The word “bitch” doesn’t mean much to us.
When we say we’re fine, we’re usually not.
Most of us fall in love way too easily.
We’re never too old for sleepovers.
All of us have a mean side, some of us just don’t show it.
We’re confusing, and you’ll never have us completely figured out.
Most of us like attention.All of us like to hear that we’re beautiful.
Most of us love cuddling.No matter how many times we say we don’t care, we usually do.
We’ll mess with your head.
If we say that nothing’s wrong, something usually is.
And just when you think you have us figured out,
something will change and you’ll be all wrong.

I was perfectly happy killing myself but then you asked me to try, and for the first time in my life it felt like someone actually gave a shit, and that person was worth trying for

Saturday, July 3, 2010

I'm speaking my mind!

i hate myself for just letting time slip away before my eyes. Time has been flying and I've been letting it past me right by. Everything's been happening too fast this year, it only feels like yesterday taking me back to those good old days. Nostalgia. I should really forget it all and move the fuck on. Everything! It's not worth holding onto anymore, I won't let it get in my way. But the problem is I feel that I'm stuck with the past, even the little events build up. They just all return all at once and nothing new has entered my life ever since. I'm still living in the past, I missing something so fucking important right now. I really need it but is it possible to reach? From the point where I'm standing now? I've been struggling to survive each new day as it comes and I believe my days only grow longer and harder. I don't know what has happened to me, I guess I had my limits and some things were just overboard. It killed me. I haven't been able to pick myself back up and get back on track y'know? Just as I thought everything falls back in place again, I realise something else is up. Nothing is ever perfect for me, why? Life used to be great, my smiles were true, laughter filled the air, I was delighted at the end of the day, always. And these days? Barely, hardly, never! They say they understand me trying to tell me what I freaking need, I think I know and no one will understand me. They're only there to listen and comfort me at times when I need them and that's more than enough. I'm grateful to have met a few but I can say I'm glad to have met all those. Those who I was never meant to meet, thanks for making me who I am today.. a fucking god damn bitch! I never used to be a bitch but these days, it's just me and others have grown used to it. I can't be bothered putting effort into anything especially school studies. I'm seriously failing, not motivated at all and yet I don't seem to care less. I've become a queen of procrastionation and more lazy than anyone! I don't even remember the last time I aced an exam. My results and grades are going downhill, I'm going downhill with everything. Nothing is working out and I need a break from all this shit. I need more time but time is running out. It's been half a year already and I fucking need to put myself together. Mend all those broken pieces of me together again ain't easy. Some missing parts can never be mended or can they? Time heals all and I hope it does, even if it takes years, it will. Year 10 is the worst year of school for everyone. A different side I've never seen of people are finally being revealed and I haven't stopped being a bitch at all. It just doesn't work, sometimes in life you gotta be a bitch to survive out there. Hypocrites, dickheads, bitches, sluts and the amount of bitching that's been going on lately is pathetic. Everyone is such a hypocrite it's not funny and it's okay to girls who bitch about me cause I'm sure I talk shit about ya anyway. It's fucking quarter past 1 in the morning and I don't wanna sleep yet. Don't want to wake up to late. I am absolutely sick of it! This blog's a mess and everything is just all out of place at the moment. I just pray that things fall into place for me and holidays put me back together again and fuck, replace that part of me I'm misssing. I need it badly. I'm hating on myself right now, just FML. Yeah, fuck my life! It ain't worth living sometimes.

Rawr :)

At this very exact moment, i feel completely, absolutely and entirely crap. Im in one of those moments where you feel like, you'll never at all get over. Those moments where you really cant understand why you're sad, those moments where you don't think you'll ever accept what you did, and simply one of those moment where you won't ever realize, and understand your true intentions, or even understand, yourself. Yourself; The one person you are supposed to know, because who else is controlling your every single move, feeling and thought but you.
I know, i should just be getting over whatever im fussing over, but right now at this instant, i think i've forgotten how to get over things, let alone forgive myself. This is one of those moments where you tell everyone you're ok, but inside, you are wholeheartedly, entirely NOT ok.
Feelings right now; useless, stupid, cheerless, heavy-hearted, pessimistic, annoyed, resentful, abandoned, isolated, empty
In the back of my mind, i know im going to be my usual smiling, happy self by tomorrow, but until then, i think im going to be some grouchy, grumbling, ill-tempered monster.
ciao from the sulky biatch.

Because i'm .Strong D:


Ever feel like you have this one person, that you could seriously never, not even when your trying your best; - to get rid of? That one person who'll really never stop bugging, irritating, and simply annoying you to the end of your limits.


Well yeah right now i think theres this person who really has nothing else to do but b*tch, annoy, and seriously just hold a grudge against someone and just agitate someone. I would seriously, all joking aside, want and need this person out of my life. Im close to my limits, all the backstabbing, all the accusing, all the stupid talkings of "betrayal", really need to stop. Whats the point of fighting if both of us are losing anyway?


Well this person thinks they can do whatever they want, loudly, and proudly. I used to think this person could control, anyone and do this to everyone, but now i've found out t hat no-one really likes a gasbag. This really gave me a bit of confidence to handle this stupid little situation.


Anyway, i just wrote this to say to myself that i can handle people who make me feel small, because i know that just because people make me feel small and defensless, doesnt mean i am, i can stand up for myself, and really, if i do it well, maybe this person will stop bugging me.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

what a life

past there few month many things happen to me

xtau gik ku handle my life

asa kedak putus asa ada jwak

Pahal ku gik pikir sal laki nok x HARGAI ku ya owh

dolok senang2 jak ku lupakan COLMAN..

nanga bIAK idung besai ya kata ANNETE pown ku x ingin dah

kenek ku binggung ku xdapat lupakan

CLEVEL

apa semua START dari huruf

"C"

kali xda jodoh kali

pa jak lah biak iban nak

selain biak CINA...

kak ya ada gik mix ngan filiphin...

WASEH!!!

asa banga tek.....

i just running my life coz ku mok bagi my virginity to JOHNY

biasalah owg laki nang ON jak ngan benda kedak ya

GENEVIEVE PLEASE STOP ACT LIKE STUPID

yalah my friends said

just because of one MAN

AM I BEAUTIFUL??

hahahahaha....

ketawa kedrik ku

ya you are methew said

tapi pahal ada owg ninggal kan ku dgn alasan ku jaoh???




Friday, June 25, 2010

i love you

Someday you'll love me.
Someday you'll care.
Someday you'll treasure the moments we've shared.
Someday you'll learn, love is not a game.
Then you'll realize, I'm not the same.
My heart will have left you, my love will have died

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Your idea of me is fabricated with materials you have borrowed from other people and from yourself. What you think of me depends on what you think of yourself. Perhaps you create your idea of me out of material you would like to eliminate from your own idea of yourself. Perhaps your idea of me is a reflection of what other people think of you. Perhaps what you think of me is simply what you think that I think of you.



p/s: Take my kindness for weakness and I’ll take your life as a joke

proses of learning

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will.
You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

wondering!!

I wonder where you where
I wonder what your thinking about tonight

I wonder
Maybe your alone

Maybe you've been crying just like meI wonder
I don't know why I lost your touch
Maybe I wanted to be loved too much

I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
I wanted you to love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious,too soon

I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you!!!
Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love youSo baby now my life's a mess
Cause I'mcos
I couldn't love you any less.

broken hearted GIRL

many heartbreaks does it take

till u realize its not rightwhen it happens

do forgive and forgetor do u care and cry

how many does it take till u understand

everyone has gone through it yet we never stop

what is luv if it leaves u dead with a broken heartis it love when u cry from them

if luv is supposed to be happy

then why are we sad

to all people who read this i hope u understand

that if this helps u will be strong in all heartbreaks or have none at all

this is life people luv is not good its painfull and to me its real luv and heartbreaks are no laughing matter they are everyone life they are my life if u love u will hate we dont need any more hatred that there already is luv same with heartbreaks and hatred.

brokenhearts are reality wake up.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

=D haaaaa

let get laughter way out of yourself.don't fear d others comment.it's very special kind of sound.sometimes we cn make it into melody lyk we did yesterday :DD it was fun!only d heartless person could not lyk d sound of laughter 4 laughter is a very happy sound.or maybe this kind of person need a laught therapy.hahas! :DD n dont forget that laughter gives rise 2 smilin faces n neva fails 2 fill d cup of cheers :))

Sunday, June 20, 2010

PfFf...

I've learned a lot from all my experiences.

Let me list down some of the important things i've learned.
1. You can forgive and forget. I know it may seem like a hard thing to do, but you know what, it isn't impossible.
2. Some people just can't keep secrets to themselves, and since they can't do so, please don't share any of your secrets with them. Especially not you biggest secret. :)
3. Friends who just make you feel insecure and unsure about yourselves are not worth being friends with. :)
4. There is only one way to deal with people who are trying to make you look bad and bring you down, just ignore their actions and act as if nothing's going on. It's better to just concentrate on more imporant things ;)
5. There is always a way to bring out the best in somebody. People can become more than what they are and they can always change to be better people :)
6. Be careful of what you say. Some things are not meant to be said aloud, especially not in front of people who would be hurt by the word that came out from your mouth.
7. You can hate a person with all your heart one day, and love him with all your heart another day.
8. Second chances are to be given to people who really want to change. Third chances are not that easy to give away
9. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. LOL. ;D(carefull peepz it maybe hurt you also with a liar)
10. In order to get what you want, hardwork is really important, effort needs to be shown so that we earn good things :)
Blah. I'm so tired. I'll continue another day :P
while people are sleeping im still
wakeup in the morning
iM STILL THINGKING
='(

Saturday, June 19, 2010

SORRY CLEVEL BANYI BABA

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..
I'm really sorry.
For all the pain i've caused you.
For all this hurt you're feeling.
I never wanted it to be this way.
I never wanted to be one of those girls who made you hurt.
I never wanted to make you sad.
I never wanted you to feel your life isn't worth living for.
I never imagined how much I could let you down so easily.
But there's nothing
I can do to take it back.
Nothing to make this guilt go away.
I can never imagine how you're feeling.
And it's okay, if you hate me.
Cause you should hate me.
Just don't hate yourself.
Cause you did nothing wrong.
It's not you, it's me.It's always been me.
I just love him too much.Too much, really.
I can't even bring myself to love someone else.
I'm so used to him, so used to the idea of him.
And it feels weird when I start to try and forget him.
Feels different, and I don't like different.
I'm sorry I can't be the one for you.
Please forgive me.
:')

teenagers life frm tumblr

We’re teenagers. We’re still learning. Shit happens. We cheat, we lie, we criticize, we fight over stupid things. We fall in love and end up getting hurt. We bitch, bitch, BITCH. We bitch about bitches being bitches. We party till dawn, we drink till we pass out. We hate people for no reason, we call each other names. We stay up late having deep conversations, or stay up late just to THINK. We go out and have a kick ass time with our friends and THOSE WILL BE THE MEMORIES. One day that’s going to all pass. You can waste your time focusing on all the bad things, but one day you’re gonna wish you were still a teenager. So make the most of what you have now, forget all the bullshit and drama and LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE WITH A SEXY SMILE ON YOUR FACE.
:)

my rules.dun like it?dun even care

i am nowhere perfect.i know i'm going somewhere in this life of mine.i am mature for my age becaused i've been through to much not to be.i am one of a kind.i am pretty much sprung.i deserve the best and i wont settle the less.i have one of a biggest heart everloved by many people. (May be)

tear

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man wishing he could talk softly in her ear. While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing he could make love to her. While you make your woman CRY, there's a man stealing smiles from her.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Budusss itu nurse

4 times nurse ya cb ambi darah ku tapi x kuar ketara tdk PANDAI
BUDUSss dah la MARAH ku gk
punya SIAL CILAKEN PUKIMAK...
Dah nama BIAK PRATIKAL
PAHAL BIAK NURSING PUKIMAK GLAK?
sakit dah la ku FEVEr
nang asa MOK MATI

ONE of very SUPRIsing for me
huuuuu sedeh nya ku ngan diri ku
but its ok
Paru-paru ku berair
GOSH
arap im will ok
TAPI ku gk xpuas ati jak PASAL NURSE ya
huuuuu...

What’s the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is what makes you miserable

something to REMEMBER not TO FOrget

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or loseYou can't have everything
Don't you take chancesMight feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you freeI can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappyBut safe as could be.

cure

This is more deyn a words or phrase dat speak out tru mai heart or chest.I"m not good with words i aint gud in everytink eu want i tink.I"ma weak,i"m disgrace to eu or never sastify eu in every motion eu ever dream for eu to remember as sweet dream.I fall,i rise.I"m human i"m not better among da rest,aint perfect.I"m sick,i"m tired and scared.When i was in pain or hurts,mai soul was scream i always alone.Theres no one for me to lay on.Its lyke a living in lies when i have to look strong or tough enuf but inside of me ders a broken heart dat need its cure.The more i seek maiself the more i felt lost.

I lay alone awake at night.Sorrow fills my eyes.But I’m not strong enough to cry.Despite of my disguise.I’m left with no shoulder.But everybody wants to lean on me.I guess I’m the soldier.I bottle all my hurt inside,I guess I’m a living in lie.Inside my mind each day I die.What can bring me back to life?A simple word, a gesture.Come find this buried treasure.Rainbows lead to a pot of gold.I am notink,empty.Do hate me,coz it doesnt matter now (":

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

heartbreaking

I believe that to forget someone is one of the hardest assignments given in life, especially if you had this gut feeling that she or he is the one. Therefore all of these thoughts crossing my mind drove me deeply .Into the psychology of what is called falling wrongly in love.And,the hardest part is when you have to lost someone who you love and do love you the most.




p/s:Someone or people,i do love you.So much more than words can say.You mean more then a world to me.But,letting you go is maybe the dumbest things i ever did.Maybe,its for the best.It never easy for me.