life teaches us

i'm having a hard time these past few days. everything is just a mess. it's like nothing seems to be work. well, there are a lot of things that always lingering in the back of my mind, like A LOT. i might look like i'm a happy girl living in my own fantastic life. and also i might look like i don't have any food for thought. heck. the truth is, only Allah knows. deep in me, there's misery scrambling for some quick exit to destroy me. while i was trying to appease all of my affliction, there will be emerge another miserable. and it's like not intermittent and repeatedly. *sigh

in this early phase of the 20th, i've already been tested by one of the most frightening challenges which i guess i better keep it to myself. 'cause sometimes, it is better to keep silent than to tell others what you feel because it will only hurt you when you know they can hear you but they can’t understand. typical sentence, if you were me, then you'll know how hard for me to survive with the plenty of pitfalls in this life. but yeah, i already got used to all this. these things are actually not a new issues for me to face it but it has already become the old-stale-matter that i almost fed up to deal with it

for this current moment, i'm so convinced that no one could understand me. yeah, no one. tell me, who could understand the person who seems like nothing big deal happened in her life? the person who always look cheerful, happy and cracky? and the person who always make her friends laugh at her insane-ness? no one, right? well yeah, i got my own reason why i become like this. thing is, i wasn't like this before. time has changed me. i become more mature and more fatalistic to handle all those things. compared to the previously me, i was a little bit childish, psycho-istic, and revolt in handling my life's puzzle. and yeah, when we've been through a lot of life's difficulties, slowly it will teach us about the real life of this mortal world and slowly it will ripening us. yes,

LIFE TEACHES US.