what is wrong if i'm single?

feeling. :D. First of all, i cannot stop receiving questions and comments from friends and families. Why? can i stay single for a while?it's not like i'm gonna die. I'm happy with my life now and try to move on with it. Past is past,future is yet to be unfold. The best things when i'm single, i can spend times with my friends and go out with anyone. :) haha! spend here and there. I love making friends. Its doesn't care where they are. :) although if they not friendly,its a different story all together. :D haha! but other than that,i love my friends as they always with me when i'm sad and happy! so stop complaining why am i single. I love it now. I have much more freedom than when i got bf. :D not an emo btw. Just expressing my feeling. :D

Maybe its true. But sometimes things are not like they suppose to be. There are time when we go through hardships. Friends are always the best mate ever. But unlikely for me, some of my friends are tend to go leaving me when i need them the most. They only come to me to seek for help but most of the time when i need them, they seem vanish.For now maybe i can enjoy myself with what i had. Who know right? maybe world really gonna end soon.

Struggling time @-@

Why am I talking about stress? Because now I'm stress. Hahaha~ Everyone know about stress but do u think u really know about stress?

Ok... I have final exam this week. Every subject I have to struggle so that I will get a good result(just like what's my mom and dad hoping from me).

2 weeks ago before final exam.

• Sleep less. I don't have enough sleep. I mean like I sleep at 5 in the morning. I can sleep but don't know why, start from 12 in the midnight, if I still not sleep, I will not sleep until 3 am(minimum) or worst 6 am(maximum). Then, wake up at 8 o'clock for the class. Crazy~ But I don't feel sleepy in the class, seriously... I think I have insomnia.
• Laziness. I started to be the worst girl ever! Just kidding. I'm lazy to go to the class, I don't feel like I want to study, I don't even look at my book, I don't feel like I want to cook... All I can think is fun, fun, fun...
• Emotional. Seriously, I feel so alone. Even I have a boyfriend before, I don't feels like one. We fighting and fighting. He realize that I'm getting change a lot but he didn't told me until we break up. Then, I started to cried always. Even when I'm talking with my mom, I cried. Once, I told my mom, "Mummy, I think I might crazy one day."Guess what she said..? "Don't say like that. I'm not sending u there to be crazy. The treatment cost for crazy people is more expensive than sending u schooling." She was right anyway.
• Eat more. Well, I love to eat. In my hostel, I am the only one who eat much than my other house mates. But now, it's getting worse. I eat twice than what I eat before. My cheeks become big but weird... my body still skinny. Aiyo~

That is the symptoms of chronic stress. I have chronic stress which I never been in that kind of stress. How do I know I got that kind of stress? We learn about psychology. In psychology, we learn about stress. Stress is divide into 2, eustress and distress. In distress, there are two kind of distress, acute stress and chronic stress. Chronic stress is a negative stress which is really not good for our body. I just know about that also after I make a revision for psychology subject yesterday. I explain to u guys clearly right?

This week it's become worse.

• Sleep more. Ok... Last week I don't get enough sleep but this week I sleep half a day. 12 hours dude. Because this is exam week, like usual, I don't sleep at midnight because that is the times for me to study. I sleep at 5 or 6 in the morning and wake up at 9 because the exam started at 10 o'clock. After finished exam papers, I went to sleep. Unfortunately, I sleep until tomorrow morning, 12 in the afternoon. Haiz~
• Eat triple. I still eat twice more than what I usually eat but this times, become worse. I eat every 1 hour. But still I'm skinny. I'm pretty sure I got a high cholesterol. For your information, skinny people have a high cholesterol than fat people. That's the fact.
• Lazy? Don't mention about it. I'm still lazy no matter what. But I force myself to study. That's why I get stress a lot.
• Emotion? Errmmm... I feel like dumb people. Every time I finished answering my exam paper, I feel like I want to cry. Want to know why? Because I can't answer it 50% of the questions. But like high school people always did.. Hantam saja! Conclusion: study early before u regret.

How to deal with stress?

~ Learn how to manage stress. that's important.

~ strengthen your relationship with people surround u. That can reduce your stress.

~ Learn how to relax. Relax can help u thinking better.

~ Invest in your emotional health. Think positive always.

After I realize about my stress lately, I start to calm down a bit and remind myself. Where is the old Gene? Well, because of the stress, I became like this. Huh~ Hopefully I will be back be I was before. Yea, I am slowly to be me again now. ;)

Imperfection

I know i'm freaking anal

I hate myself for being somehow a perfectionist

Totally disgusted by this feeling of self-consciousness

What a hypocrite i am.

I know myself

so,

STOP JUDGING ME

That does't help me making a better person

ER CHOSEN

i'M B A C K

Hey guess who's back after a long time. Yea you may think I don't have anything to write about, but now I'm ready. I've been through a lot this year. The happiness and the pain, kinda how it goes. The reason I'm gone this while is because I was too lazy & busy.

You got this girl head over heels for you, but for some reason you don’t want to see it. You know it’s there, and you know you feel the same, but you refuse to let it be.

.............................Maybe you’re scared. Maybe you’re scared of the thought that this girl, who you’ve known for a long time, you’ve seen her happy, you’ve seen her sad, that this girl’s perfect for you, and that really scares you.

doesn’t it?